Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mum: Aleia Asbey
The relationship a mum shares with her children is unique, complex, and constantly evolving. For many, she can be a continuous source of emotional, professional, romantic and mental guidance and support.
In honour of Mother’s Day on 31st March, One4all asked people to reflect on their relationship with their mums, sharing their fondest memories, what they’re most thankful for and the most valuable lessons they’ve learned.
Here, screenwriter and director Aleia Asbey discusses her and mum Laurie’s special bond.
Tell us about your relationship with your mum:
‘My mum and I have always been extremely close. I’d like to think that one of the many reasons why is that she had me at the young age of 16. From that point on, her life became about doing whatever is best for her little girl. During this time, she had lost her mum to ALS and her loving sisters stepped in to make sure that we had everything that we needed and the guidance my mum yearned for. I’ve always had the type of relationship with my mum where I could tell her anything and everything, we’ve been best friends since the beginning. I was her reason, now she’s my reason for everything that I do, because I know how much she sacrificed for me. She was my guiding force throughout my school years and college days. Even now we talk on the phone at least three times a day.’
What’s the fondest memory you have of your mum from your childhood?
‘I think my fondest memories of my mum from my childhood would have to be just the alone time we spent together. I was an only child for seven years and then my litter sister came, then my litter brother a year after that. Whenever my mum made time for just her and I, it was perfect. Whether it was going to our favourite restaurant, eating ice-cream together, fixing her a dessert with my easy bake, or visiting the library. As a child, my mum made sure I stayed in the library and read with me until I got old enough to be dropped off. I believe that’s where my love for reading auto-biographies came from.’
What are you most grateful to your mum for?
‘I am most grateful to my mum for the sacrifices she made for me and my two younger siblings. She went to nursing school when they were toddlers, and although she was flustered with work and school, she always made sure that we had clothes, food, and the money we needed for school. She’s always been a shoulder to cry on and never gave up on anything that she wanted. She has set a great example to me and my siblings.
How has your mum supported you in life?
‘My mum has supported me in my career choices in a major way. Growing up my mum always expressed the importance of college and explained to me the stability of having a career in the medical field. I went from wanting to be a pharmacist to a physical therapist to an occupational therapist. During my later years in college, we lost a fourth family member to ALS and this made me really evaluate my life. I decided to exercise my childhood hobby of writing screenplays. My family’s journey was written into a screenplay, which was very therapeutic for me. Shortly after, I changed plans, changed major, and graduated a semester early, taking 8 classes in my final semester in college. I was anxious and pumped to get my career in the film industry started. I moved to Atlanta with no plan and a few hundred dollars in my pocket. Since then, I’ve been a director’s assistant and production assistant on a few films and TV shows. I’ve met many great people, had incredible experiences, but I’m still waiting on my big break to share my stories. My mum has been so supportive this whole time. She supports me financially when I’m in between jobs and she has an amazing understanding of my dreams, one that only a mum could relish and support. She’s amazing.’
What are the biggest life lessons you’ve learned from your mum?
‘My biggest life lessons that I’ve learned from my mum are to ‘’always do your best’’ and ‘’prepare for the opportunity’’. My mum has been telling me that first quote since I was very little so I can’t ever be mad at myself if I know I’ve done my very best. The right people will support me, recognise me, and acknowledge me. When you’re doing your best, everything will come to fruition. When preparation meets opportunity, then success comes. Often during our down times, we get frustrated, angry, upset, and we lose faith. We have to remember to keep going. If you’re waiting on that call back from that dream job, keeping preparing in the meantime. Do your research, touch up your skills even more and perfect your craft. When opportunity comes knocking, you’ll be ready.’
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