Being a bridesmaid or maid of honour for your sister or bestie is a huge task with responsibilities that go beyond wearing a fancy dress and carrying a bouquet of gorgeous flowers. If you want to do your job right for the bride-to-be, you need to put in hard work and effort; here’s our guide on how to be the best bridesmaid.
1. Start planning as soon as possible
You’ll likely be asked to be part of the bridal party a year in advance which means you have plenty of time to plan the bridal shower/hen party, and help the bride-to-be with wedding planning tasks like finding the perfect white dress, trialling makeup artists and hair stylists to find the one who will transform you all into movie stars for the day, and putting together wedding emergency kits that will solve everything from sore feet to pounding headaches.
Start on your tasks as soon as possible and stay as organised as you can by, for example, keeping a spreadsheet on your phone which includes a to-do list, a timeline of events, and ideas for the bridal shower/hen party, the guests’ contact details and the budget. Starting early will keep your stress levels low and ensure there’s no last-minute panic.
2. Be a team player
More than likely, you won’t be the only bridesmaid so it’s important that you can work as part of a team. You will be spending a lot of time with the others and while disagreements over what dress, makeup and hairstyle looks best are bound to happen, you need to think of the bride and less about the ‘who can be the number one bridesmaid’ competition.
Remember, you’re supposed to be the bride’s support system, not her source of stress, so be cooperative and do your best to get along with everyone.
3. Bad opinions on the dress are not welcome
As a bridesmaid, you have a mandatory duty to wear the dress the bride wants. Even if it’s an unflattering colour, or a style you don’t like, or is just truly awful, you must wear it with a smile. There can be 5+ bridesmaids and it is extremely difficult to find a dress that looks good on all the different body shapes and skin tones.
Agreeing to be a part of the bridal party means you sacrifice your freedom to choose what you wear, so simply do your duty and act like you love the dress!
4. Plan the bridal shower/hen party accordingly
Not every bride wants the stereotypical wild night-out partying as their pre-wedding celebration. Some love the idea of a spa weekend, others would like brunch and bubbles or a sun-drenched weekend abroad. Consider exactly what type of person the bride is and plan the celebration around what would make her most happy. This is her special time, not yours, or the other bridesmaids or the guests. Of course you should take their suggestions and preferences into consideration, but always make sure to stick to what you believe the bride will enjoy the most.
And not everything needs to be a surprise; if you’re unsure, ask for the bride’s help – that way you know you’re planning a celebration she’ll love!
5. Be present
There’s a lot involved in planning a dream wedding and the bride will likely feel stressed at some point so it’s important that you’re present for her, both physically and emotionally. Offer to go with her to dress fittings, venue viewings, potential wedding band showcases, cake tastings, decoration shopping, etc. And always try and organise non-wedding activities to give her a relaxing break.
A bride needs an outlet to express her stress and frustrations and you should be it.
6. Don’t complain to the bride
In the months before and on the day, if you’re frustrated with another bridesmaid, tired of organising everyone for photographs, or just annoyed at how time-consuming the whole wedding has been, do not vent to the bride. She has enough to worry about and doesn’t need additional stress.
Vent your frustrations to another friend – that doesn’t know the bride. The bride has had a stressful few months planning this day, let her relax and enjoy every minute.